Shortly thereafter

I drove into a crowd of people; spreading mirth and propaganda pamphlets. Few were hurt, and the rest - sufficiently curious by now - called the number on the back of the pamphlet. My customer base grows exponentially. My fees are enormous. My services are priceless. Come to me. I will assign you a new life. And then I will destroy you.

The beginning

I hate everything. You, your stupidity, and infinite combinations thereof. I also hate beer. I am an enemy of beer. I hate all brewers, distributors, retailers, and consumers. However, I am quite fond of sausages and wine. That is the mystery of the LORD's ways - he invented gravity and then hated me for discovering the laws governing it. I also hate Ben Franklin. He was a liar. GOD did not make anything for you, and your happiness is the last thing on his or my mind.